My Experience With Long-COVID
I think I know you? Do you know me? I’m not quite myself these days. I was someone else once. But I can’t fully recall who that person was; only that I know he is not me nor I him. This version of reality is so strangely unfamiliar. I must have bumped my head.
As a survivor, my life can be parsed into two distinctions: before and after COVID. It started with a vaccine; an adverse reaction, which lasted for months continuing today. Regrettably, my ordeal did not end there, as I eventually contracted COVID which has become long-COVID.
These emotions sometimes swing like the pendulum in the pit. I’m always seeking new potions and spells to cut this virus from my bones.
Each day, I wake to a world that feels unfamiliar. My mind struggles to grasp knowledge that was once so easily at hand. My daily life is riddled with headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and soreness.
Sleep is an elusive and sporadic remedy. There are cognitive issues. My brain feels submerged underwater.
The most alarming of all are the hives. On the worst days I’m being pricked by invisible needles all over my body. They sear my flesh with white-hot electric fire that pulses through the night.
It becomes a race against time to try to tranquilize myself with a cocktail of medications.
Emotionally, I feel empty. Sometimes I have strong feelings of sadness or anger. I struggle with anhedonia. The essence of who I am is gone.
Prior to COVID, I had a vibrant life that was filled with optimism, joy, and passion for life. Now, I barely recognize myself. My physician says to keep faking it until I make it; until I recover.
My therapist helps me focus on gratitude, but I can’t help wondering when my whole self will return. Will I ever be the same person again?
The number of tests, medications, and health impacts I’ve endured are astounding. Still, I cling to hope. Someday, one day, I will regain myself.
Someday, I will thrive.
Compassion, understanding, and grace are needed now more than ever.
Maybe someone you know is experiencing symptoms?
Maybe someone you know is struggling?
Learn more about Long-COVID
Thank you for reading,
